Tomorrow we leave for our annual, 12-hour haul to Iowa to celebrate Thanksgiving with my lovely, if-not-a-little quirky step-family. The bags are packed, the cooler stocked, and the GPS programmed. But, I wonder, if I'm ready. My four blessings have behaved like anything but all day long and I am bone weary. Satan, I see, is doing what I so often allow him to do--destroy my testimony. If you could have seen a replay of today's events you would understand. Suffice to say, Mama was on the war path.

Now, I will arrive in Dubuque spiritually drained; too ashamed to minister to my lost friends and family for fear of being a hypocrite. How do I tell them of "the straight and narrow" when I'm currently lying in a ditch?

But, praise be to God...His blessings are new every morning and we'll be driving through a whole lot of morning tomorrow. I can only pray that the next 24 hours will be better than the last and that some how He will be able to use me, however battered I may feel. The gospel power He has given me, is afterall, made of the same stuff that raised Jesus from the grave.

If you catch my post, please pray for me and my family as we venture into "Pop Country". There is a great darkness there. They need the light of the gospel desperately.

Blessing upon blessing to you all as you celebrate Thanksgiving.

A whisper of revival

I know I should be writing about the election or provide some sort of concluding comments on my fast, but I just don't feel like it. Obviously, things did not turn out as I hoped. I can't seem to sort out the conflicting emotions broiling inside. On the one hand, I am so incredibly proud that this Nation founded on that great ideal that "All men are created equal" has finally, after centuries of opression and cruel prejudice, elected a black man to the presidency. If only the great freedom fighters Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas, and Martin Luther King Jr. could have seen the day. If only the countless slaves who died in anonimity, beaten down and used indifferently by their thoughtless white masters, could have caught a brief glimpse of the hope to come. At the same time, I wonder, how someone like Harriet Tubman, a devoted follower of Jesus Christ, would have felt about Obama's stand on abortion? She who fought to free the opressed and protect the abused? I daresay she and the others would be sorely disappointed in his ideology, as am I. So, although I can rejoice that perhaps this election is a sign that racism is taking its last rattling breath in this country, I cannot rejoice in the ideas this man brings to the White House.

So, as I said before, we are all called to trust and pray. Do I think God gave (not just allowed, passively) Obama this highest position of the land? Absolutely. To say anything else calls into question God's sovereignity. The end of the book has been written. This is merely a chapter amongst many and Obama a ruler amongst many. Will God use Obama to judge America? I hate to say it, but I believe that's why God gave him and not McCain the victory. Our country is killing 4000 babies everyday. One of of every five junior-high students say they have had sex. Gracious--my oldest is in junior high. If that statistic is accurate, then four of the boys on his football team are no longer virgins! That makes me want to hit something. Child exploitation is everywhere. The Internet is clogged with filth. Thirty-thousand human slaves are living (if that's what you want to call it) in this country, right now as I type. Songs like "That Baby Don't Look Like Me" have become the battle cry of dead-beat dads everywhere. Marriage is constantly under attack. And the schools, well...I don't think there are enough gigabites on this computer to contain all the problems with that crumbling institution.

Suffice to say, that the next four years are going to be difficult. They will be hard for us Christians as well. Judgement has a way of overflowing its intended boundaries. We should be prepared for tough times. But as we all know trials are also a gift from the Father, sometimes they are the most precious gifts of all. When we are tried we are troubled and when we suffer we run to our Daddy for comfort and care. Though the days ahead may be bitter, I can't help but believe that the One who is always spinning evil into good, will take our bitterness and turn it into sweet fruit. And what of this fruit? I shall call it revival, because that is what I think is to come.

No fireworks this time

Woohoo...I'm on a role now. I finally, after weeks of fretting and unreasonable bouts of jealousy, figured out how to change the background on my blog. I was beginning to dislike some of the more talented blog designers I follow. You know who you are with your fancy pictures and flashing widgets...

And I would have never gotten this done if I hadn't been fasting. Less time eating equals more time for work and I needed a little distraction. The leftover lasagna stuck to the baby's highchair tray was looking mighty tempting, as was the cat.

This fast hasn't turned out exactly as I expected, as though anything ever does. I guess I was looking for fireworks, but it's been fairly tame. Aside from my rumbly tummy, I haven't even struggled that much with hunger. Why I can't accept that as a good thing, I don't know. Perhaps it has something to do with a previous fast.

Several years ago, God called me to fast for a much longer period of time. I'm not even sure why. I guess whatever I thought it was, wasn't all that important. I've debated whether or not I should blog about it, but since the current food strike isn't providing me with much inspiration what the hay? What happened on the fifth or sixth day of that fast changed me so profoundly, I count it as the most significant day of my life; above the birth of my babies and even the day I married the man of my dreams.

So what was it that so shook my world? Let me make a few things clear before I share. I do not believe that Jesus makes it a regular practice to appear to people and talk to them. I also think we must test every spirit, since Paul makes it clear that Satan can appear as an Angel of Light. I would also point out that anytime a human being had an encounter with the ressurected Christ in the Bible, there one and only response was complete and total on-your-face humility. With that said, let me share what I can recollect from that evening.

I was sitting at the diningroom table lamenting over how desperately hungry I was and how I wished I never agreed to do such a fool-hardy thing, when I felt led to open my Bible. I don't think I had gotten in a single verse before I was overcome by a crushing need to pray. And so I began, listing off petitions; crying out for lost loved one; repenting profusely until I came to a point where my words could no longer keep up with the thoughts pouring out of my mouth. I wondered, is this what happens when the Spirit intercedes on our behalf with groanings too deep for words? Please, understand, I was not speaking in tongues. I could still could understand the words flowing from my mind, I just couldn't mouth them fast enough.

Then, all of a sudden the room fell silent and I felt drawn to the stereo system across the room where I found a Michael W. Smith CD sitting in the changer. Absent-mindedly I flicked it on, and Agnus Dei began to fill the room. Allleluia....Alleluia...Alleluia...the Lord God Almighty Reigns. Holy....Holy....is the Lord God Almighty....Worthy is the Lamb...Worthy is the Lamb. Carried away by the worshipful-ness of the tune, I lilted back to my seat (no one was there to see so I felt free to lilt all I wanted). Suddenly, I felt a rush of cold and glimpsed a black mass of shadows fleeing in terror to the exterior room of our home. What was this, I thought? And then I sensed Him, standing in front of me and I fell to the floor, prostrate. I wished that the floor would swallow me. How could such Perfection behold such filth? But, He would have none of it. Lovingly, He beckoned me to stand up and dance with Him. And so, if you had a wide-angle lense trained on my living room that night, you would have seen me dancing a gentle waltz with My Savior. Of course, your camera wouldn't have picked up His image, I didn't see Him either. But, He was there just the same and I have never been the same.

And, I find myself longing for another visit. Perhaps that is why I have felt that this fast has been such a letdown. No fireworks, as I said. But heavens! That wasn't the point. I seem to recall my primary motivation was to show God just how serious I was about this upcoming election. When Sarah gives up food, you know things are getting serious.

By the time I blog again, we will more-than-likely have a new president, barring some sort of tie or other voting debauchle like we had in 2000. And, no matter who wins, I will trust that my Father put Him there for His purposes. I do not have to understand any of it to know that He's taking care of all of it.

As the results start pouring in tomorrow night, dwell on this: "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God." Romans 13:1

Day 2

okay, for some reason, beyond my understanding, my latest post just got dumped. And, I am way too tired and HUNGRY to repost. Please continue to pray for me. I can tell you have been as I have managed not to have assaulted anyone so far! But, most of all pray for the upcoming election. Pray! Pray! Pray.

It's not over, even though the secular media would have you believe it is. I'm sure the devil was dancing with delight right up until that stone rolled away.