Misteps and mis-sayings

I am suffering from a a severe case of blog guilt. In other words, I feel bad that I have neglected the "throng" of people that read this blog and so feel compelled to write something no matter how silly or irrelevant....

So, here goes. A compliation of "funnies" spoken by either myself or my children at some point in history.
Cruising down the road....
Dad: Honey, don't forget the appraiser is coming on Tuesday.
Cameron pops up from the backseat and asks, "Who's Keith Razor?"

After a baseball game years ago...
Eric: Mom, can a shoulder blade cut a dill pickle?"

Last week, while Mom was attempting to do way too many things at once....
Mom: Cameron come here so I can change your batteries, I mean your bandage!

A couple of days ago, while Eric and Cameron were playing a mean game of chess....
Cameron: Ha, I got your push-up.
Mom wonders, I don't remember buying any push ups.
Eric: Here take my push-up, he's not that big of a deal anyways.
Mom figures it out. A push-up equals a bishop.

Seven years ago in the Pastor's office at our old church....
Pastor: Josiah, why do you think you should be baptized?
Josiah: Because, I'm a good swimmer?

Ten or Eleven years ago during my kick-boxing phase....
Sarah is exhausted and has already fallen asleep. Enter Joe, a few hours later. He leans in to give Sarah a kiss and she promptly gives him an upercut he'll never forget.

Six years ago on a mission trip in Central Asia....
After making fabulous peanut-butter cookie shaped camels for all the MK's to help tell the story of how the Israelites left Egypt annd slavery behind on, among other animals, a bunch of camels. The thought suddenly comes into my head, What if someone is allergic to peanuts? I grab one of the missionaries and exclaim, "I hope no one goes into profalactic shock!"

At Eric's football game, this summer....
After several exagerated field injuries, I watch Eric collapse under a tackle near the endzone. Irritated that he hasn't gotten up, I yell at the top of my lungs, "What do you want? Your mommy to sew you a dress?" After a few more seconds of scrutiny, I realize to my horror, that the child splayed out on the ground is not Eric at all.

Going to do some gardening now....





T